Crazy Bitches

So I put crazy bitches with less-crazy bitches and now there are more crazy
bitches being more bitch-crazy while you watch other crazy bitches, dawg.

So a number of videos have come to my attention recently featuring certain crazy bitches, and I believe that by the power of mockery, strategic internet harassment, and psychologically-targeted trolling, we may just may be able to rid the world of one more crazy bitch. Here goes nothing. 

 Yoga. A seemingly peaceful, healthy exercise, indulged wilfully by many of the femina gender. Citing Wikipedea:

“[Yoga] is a physical, mental, and spiritual discipline, originating in ancient India [1].”

Ok, sound goods. Likewise, through the astuteness of human adaptation, there exists a similar practice: Baby Yoga. Citing Wikipedia:

“Page does not exist [2].”

Huh, strange. Well, it’s most likely a lesser-known sect of Yoga which undoubtedly embraces the same spiritual and mental discipline of its origins, right? I’m guessing the major difference is its use by younger generations. Seems legit.

Why, look. I see there is a video on the subject, let’s watch but first put ourselves in a whole-heartedly unbiased and super-liberal mind set as to understand and accept these practices, as they and their differences ultimately knit the cultural fabric of human-kind. 

....

WHA- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID CRAZY BITCH??!! PUT THE BABY DOWN BEFORE YOU BRING DEATH!!! SOMEONE GET ME A GUN, I THINK I CAN SHOOT THE HORNS OFF IT.

I'm assuming you had a remotely similar reaction to mine. I was also surprised at how this ex-PE teacher from Russia claims that this baby-flailing is perfectly safe. What a stupid bitch.

You know what? I have an idea. How about we get two elephants and let them swing this woman around for several minutes, heck, why not throw in a few loops, flips, 720's, hang her upside down until the blood rushes to her head, then flip her again. If she screams fuck it she's obviously not in any distress at all and clearly its good for her, then drown her until she is semi-conscious.

Something like this:

The sad outcome of this are parents, who somehow snuck back into the genetic tree, are literally flocking to get their baby's flailed and arms potentially snapped by this woman. Consequently, others decided "Fuck it, if she can do it, why can't I? Surely killing my baby won't take that much skill." Hence ushering in a new era where potentially killing your baby has become a "thing."

I have one question: Who tampered with Natural Selection? WHO?!!?!