Showing posts with label Becoming The Uberman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Becoming The Uberman. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Becoming The Uberman - Week 6: "What it means to be Uberman"

witThis is an on-going quest for uberness (well, kinda). If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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Formalities of Progression

No, your eyes do not deceive you - gee-whiz-pop-golly this is indeed an Uberman update, let’s all rip open the condoms, bathe in oil and talk about how elephants mate (Have you seen them in action? DAI-YUM!) Moving on; I know I haven’t keept you guys in the loop recently, and I apologize for that, but this was for good reason as you shall soon see.

The truth is - I have a confession to make. Not only have I achieved an Uber-level over 9000 (And to all you noobz out there, that means that I’ve fully adapted. Here, save yourself further embarrassment and watch this, you’ll thank me later), but since roughly the 12th of June I had officially achieved complete Uberness. What’s surprising is I myself hadn’t noticed the change till recent, in fact, I found out rather spontaneously. Have you ever had a bad/annoying strain of hiccups that suddenly disappears without notice? Yeah, like that. One day as I was reading I thought; “Wait a second... I’m not sleepy!” That’s how I realized. I finally became an Uberman.

It was astonishing how smooth and unnoticeable the transition was, considering the state I was in just a couple of days before hand. An even more awesome discovery was that I no longer required alarms; I almost always awoke naturally after exactly 20 minutes. My body had finally understood: 20 minutes every 4 hours. No more, no less.




After realizing this, my first idea was to test my psychological and physical states while in Uber-mode, and so began a series of experiments where I assessed my boundaries and limits to observe (or suffer) the positive and negative effects that Uberman induces. I’ve been writing this post now for quite some time, and much of my results had to be omitted otherwise this post would be longer than the combined length of a Giraffe's tongue and an Elephants penis (...). So I apologize if I ever made you, my dear beloved reader, believe that I had died of sleep deprivation (I kid you not someone actually sent an email asking if I had died from sleep deprivation, oh how I feel the guiltiness right about now).

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Becoming The Uberman – Week 2: "Devolution of The Uberman"

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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I should note that I find no need to write a blog for each day, as (apart from my slow transformation into a brainless zombie), there really is not much to write about on a daily basis. Instead I will write summary posts covering a few days or perhaps a week at a time. Any objections? No? None?.. Good. Never knew asking questions about predetermined decisions made life so easy. I should do this more often. Right guys? Yeah, I think so too.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman - Day 6: "A Hint of Fail, A Dose of Win"

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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So far, there has been progression on both sides of the spectrum. On one side, blackouts have not only been cropping up in the morning but also during midday naps too. I also recall over-sleeping in the afternoon for a good 2 hours or so. This is bad. Very bad.

Becoming The Uberman - Day 5: “The Curse of The Uberman”

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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Firstly - no I am not stuck in the dream world, and two – I am not dead. I know I haven’t updated my blog in quite a while but theres no need to send me emails asking if I'm ok (I like it really), its completely uneccessary from a professional standpoint (it makes me feel cool too). Moving on. Days 5, 6 and 7 have been left unfinished in the draft bay for a while now, but I managed to pluck up the energy to finish all three in one night - LIKE A BOSS.

I thought I’d talk about what I actually do to fill my time, rather than blabber about my daily happenings. So I’ve calculated and complied all the stuff I’ve done so far over the past 5 days.  Take a deep breath cause’ its kinda… well, you’ll see:

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman – FAQ's: "Do Not Question the Uberman"

I've been receiving a lot of emails recently in regards to my adaptation of Uberman, several of them being words of support from people all around the world, and I sincerely thank those who took their time to ask about lil’ old me. Your emails are what kill the zombified stare off my face every night, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful. How about some internet bro-fist?

Amongst the emails I receive, many are questions curious about Uberman and polyphasic sleep. I figured I’d compile these questions and share the things I’ve learned since starting the Uberman system.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman - Table of Days

I made this mainly as a way for people to navigate around my previous and coming days. Its becoming a pain for me to update each individual day with hyperlinks and such. So, I'll be updating all my Uberman logs here in a nice clean post. If you're ever confused, you're more than welcome to use this to navigate your way around my sleep-deprived quest for uberness.


Day 1: "Origins" - 21.05.11 @ 0758

Day 2: "Mishaps and Madness" -22.05.11 May @ 0536


Becoming The Uberman - Day 4: "Hi there, my name's REM. Nice to finally meet you."

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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Before I start I’d like to clarify a few things that I believe I have not made clear in previous posts, one of them being the total amount of hours I have slept throughout the past couple of days. This has been calculated as of Thursday the 19th from precisely 0900 hours. It was from then onwards, I started the Uberman cycle by taking my first ever 20 minute nap at Friday the 20th of May at 0000 hours (Day 1). Now that’s out of the way, I can finally show you some numbers.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman – Day 3: “A New Nemesis, a Glimmer of Hope”

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see the days passed so far.
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It has now become a physical struggle to type. As I write this, I find it hard to determine which letter belongs to which key. I can no longer write coherently for more than a few minutes, or my writing deteriorates to the level of a child. I am now forced to keep writing to a minimum, ignoring the usual humorous aspects of my posts and focus what energy I have left on reporting my status. So to all those reading, I would like to apologize in advance if it is difficult to read my entries from here on. After quickly glancing through my previous posts, I found myself disappointed at the sloppiness of my writing. So again, to all those who have been following me from Day 1, I offer my sincerest apologies.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman - Day 2: "Mishaps and Madness"

This is Day 2 of an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven’t read any of my previous Uberman posts, you will have no clue what I’m talking about. Go here for my report of Day 1.

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Things are starting to get increasingly dangerous, and precautions had to be made. I have entered a new stage within this adaptation phase that endangers my chances of achieving epic uberness. The story that led to this is as follows.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Becoming The Uberman - Day 1: "Origins"

For those of you who do not know: I am embarking on a quest. A quest so sacred and so desired, little have returned sane. What is this quest I speak of?  What is this pilgrimage of enlightenment?  This journey of power?  This mission of impossibility? The answer is infact, quite simple - I have no idea what I’m talking about.