World Heavyweight Title Match - David "Cocky Loser" Haye Vs. Wladimir "Dr. Steel Hammer" Klitschko

If you're wondering what kind of ring name "Cocky Loser" is then you must've missed the memo regarding my intense hatred of David Haye. More on that later.

Immediately after one of Haye's fight, he spotted Wladimir in the crowd
and decided to start a little show.

The reason why I bothered to write a post dedicated to this fight is because it's quite possibly the biggest and most anticipated since 1999's Lennox Lewix vs. Evander Holyfield match-up, both boxers held a legendary status and were in their primes too - no fight has compared since. There were, arguably, other fights that could contend like 2002's Lennxs Lewis vs. Mike Tyson bout but both boxers were old and Tyson was a one-dimensional poor reflection of his prime - and Tyson's prime is one that I consider to be the greatest in all boxing history, but that's for another post.

Did I mention that this upcoming fight is a unification match? Haye and Klitschko are putting all their titles on the line, so they have a chance to gain the WBA, WBO, IBF, IBO and The Ring Heavyweight titles. With Klitschko contributing all four of his international titles, in comparison to Haye's single WBA belt. Anyone with half a brain and a teaspoon of honey should be able to predict the outcome of this match.

Now, in light of this Haye and Klitschko news many seems not to know the history between these two men. So In case you're not really much of a boxing fan, and because I feel like blabbering, here's a brief summary of the drama between these two boxers.
March 2008
Haye sheepishly relinquished his cruiserweight title looking for action among the heavyweights. Little did he know who he was about to fuck with.

April 2008
In a flash of pure genius, Haye decided to confront Waldimir by ambushing him on a escalator in a shopping center, and like a bitch begged Wladimir to defend his title against him even though Haye had only fought once at heavyweight. Like a used dirty whore, he was rejected with wise words: "Talk is cheap." And so is a used battered prostitute, see the hidden metaphor?

January 2009
Not heeding Wladimir's words, Haye repeatedly disrespected both Wladimir and Vitali through the media until Wladimir respectfully decided to beat the living shit out of Haye. Contracts were signed for a June 20th clash in Germany. Humping the TV, I was eager to witness one of the most satisfying fights in boxing.


June 2009
With the fight approaching, Haye suddenly pulled out due to a bullshit back injury after masturbating to too much gay porn. The normally humble Wladimir went ballistic when he heard Haye had flew with his dreads between his legs. Wladimir re-directed his rage and went on to force a ninth round retirement of the former WBA king, Ruslan Chagaev. Around about this time I began boxing with the intent of ending Haye's professional career.

November 2009

Haye recovered from his bullshit-stinking ticket to safety and the disrespectful bitching continued as the Londoner decided to prey on Wladimir's older brother, Vitali - also a world champion holding multiple international belts. A date was set and Vitali was ready to shut this bitch up, I swiftly retired from boxing knowing that Vitali would put my anger to rest. Shamefully, Haye jumped ship and promptly signed for a fight with Nikolay Valuev instead, the now retired WBA title holder. Haye scrapped past Valuev via a majority decision. I un-retired.

April 2010 

Fast forward and it was now Wladimir’s turn to call out the ‘Gaymaker’ in a pussy-crushing video. Haye was put to shame infront of the entire internet - it was a glorious day.

           


July 2010
Fast forward again and yet another failed attempt at getting a date set between the two fighters. All hope was now riding on me to put Haye's ass on a stake. I was determined.

November 2010

In strolls along Audley Harrison and just like Haye they bitched and moaned about who had the larger vagina. I never wanted a double-KO more in my entire life. During the press conference the majority of talk included repeated "your mum" insults between the two grown men as my unwanted memories of secondary school flashed by. Audley lost in the second round without much effort. The fight was considered a failure in all ascpects. 

Yet hope glimmered when Haye vouched his fake media-driven desire to fight the Klitschko brothers right after fanny-slapping Harrison. Contracts were signed and insults were thrown all from all Haye-angles, but there was no way he could back out now. Unless he committed agonizing suicide, which would be acceptable.

June 2011 - Here we are. Hopefully you see the reasoning behind my just-deserved hatred for David Haye. However my hate isn't just for his incompetence, but more so for his lack of respect towards other fellow boxers. There's being cocky, and then there's being a disrespectful insulting prick. Take a look at a quick example and see for yourself how much of beating this man deserves.
          


That just about sums up my rant.I hope this provides a little more insight into the upcoming fight, I'll be sure to post any good quality streaming links tomorrow so you folks can watch at home. I leave you with a quick video interview for tomorrow nights fight. Lets hope the order of agonizing justified pwnage thats been on Karma's shopping list for over 3 years is finally delivered. Over to you Wladimir.