Becoming The Uberman – Day 3: “A New Nemesis, a Glimmer of Hope”

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see the days passed so far.

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It has now become a physical struggle to type. As I write this, I find it hard to determine which letter belongs to which key. I can no longer write coherently for more than a few minutes, or my writing deteriorates to the level of a child. I am now forced to keep writing to a minimum, ignoring the usual humorous aspects of my posts and focus what energy I have left on reporting my status. So to all those reading, I would like to apologize in advance if it is difficult to read my entries from here on. After quickly glancing through my previous posts, I found myself disappointed at the sloppiness of my writing. So again, to all those who have been following me from Day 1, I offer my sincerest apologies.

I have a huge amount to report on today. So bear with me. As noted in my Day 2 post, you will know that I had my first encounter with a blackout. Shortly after that post, I prepped myself for my 0800 nap, strictly following the “Rules of The Uberman” that I declared in my Day 2 entry. Setting my alarms, and lying firmly on my couch, I fell almost immediately into deep sleep - and I woke up 7 hours later. I had blacked out once more.

I awoke feeling psychologically and physically empty. Even after 7 hours my eyelids dragged my face to the floor with such force it was almost unbearable. I found both my alarms on my chest, switched off. I had no recollection of turning off these alarms or getting up to turn them off. This was not only frustrating, but extremely demoralizing. And, if I were to be honest, I felt fucking pathetic.

After some self-convincing, I decided to do some research into the matter, and after studying other Uberman sleepers, I discovered something surprising. During the adaptation phase, every person comes across a time in the day where they are most likely to blackout. For some, it’s in the afternoon. For others, late at night. For me, it’s the early morning. I have found my new nemesis, the “Morning Fiend”. It is the most difficult and challenging period for me to wake up in. I have decided to take further precautions for my next morning nap. I shall write my findings in my next blog post.

As for my current state, it is slowly worsening. I should note that I can no longer use the AM/PM time system due to pure confusion, so I now only use the 24-hour system. I can also no longer tell what day it is, they become blurred together as one. My nights have become just as long as my days. I no longer have a defining moment that signifies the beginning of a new day; I lost that reset switch. My motor skills have fallen rapidly; it is no longer a laughing matter when I say I cannot use a mouse. I have lost my appetite, I no longer feel hungry.  I can often go for up to 18 hours with no food or water intake and I do not feel the slightest bit starved. A lot of the time I eat because I force myself to do so. No other reason.

Also, and this will be of interest to the male readers of these posts, and I felt it was important to document. So I apologize to any female readers who may find this offensive or absurd. - I no longer feel the need to perform “man’s daily rituals”. These urges have since gone from beginning Uberman. Whether this side-effect is a good thing or a bad thing is up to you to decide. I hope that last part made sense. I now constantly walk around with a warm fuzzy feeling deep within my brain. At first it was strange, but now I am used to it. My eyes always dance as I begin a nap, but I have yet to achieve REM sleep in any one of my naps, which is the ultimate goal. I hope the rapid eye movement is a sign of my progression towards my goal.

While I was out today, I went back to Zizo’s place and chilled there for a while. My midnight nap came and I began to get myself set for my rest. After this nap, I awoke with the usual “I WANT KILL EVERYTHING THAT MOVES” attitude. After a while however, this feeling promptly disappeared. And I felt relatively awake. It was for a brief moment but I felt like I could run, eat, fly, talk – you name it. It was the first time I felt normal again, but the feeling was short-lived. By the time my next nap came I lost all previous energy and fell into a zombified state. Perhaps it was a glimmer of hope signifying my getting used to the Uberman system - I can only hope this is the case.

A fellow Uberman. We shall soon look exactly a like.

That sums up the majority of my day.  I am having severe doubts as to whether I can keep writing the coming blogs. It’s not like many people read them, but that’s not the point. I have been doing it as another activity that burns a good couple of hours of my time. I may have to switch over to video logs as they are easier to do and require less effort. My main goal is the documentation of this adaptation phase. I can confirm that I have never under gone more of a difficult challenge in my entire life, waking up after those naps is most possibly the most psychologically straining task I have ever had to do. I am off now to prepare my next possible meeting with the Morning Fiend, here's to hope everything goes as planned.

SIDE EFFECTS/SUMMARY:

• Sleep deprivation beyond the levels of explanation. I should note that there times I do not feel pain, and the reaction/feeling is often delayed. Very delayed.
• Walking while sleeping. This has become a major issue. Especially when walking alone.
• Somewhat intellectual tasks are no longer applicable to me. Reading books, writing, programming, playing an instrument - anything which involves increased levels of concentration drain significant amounts of energy quickly.
• A dangerously large drop in motor skills. I can no longer use a mouse properly.
• Writing/typing has degenerated. I am forced to have regular breaks every couple of minutes in order to regain writing ability.
• A warm fuzzy feeling constantly envelops my brain. I have since gotten used to this.
• Eyes begin to dance almost every time I take a nap. An early sign of REM sleep perhaps?
• Slight increase in energy after certain random naps. No pattern to these energy bursts has been recognized.