Becoming The Uberman - Day 4: "Hi there, my name's REM. Nice to finally meet you."

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

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Before I start I’d like to clarify a few things that I believe I have not made clear in previous posts, one of them being the total amount of hours I have slept throughout the past couple of days. This has been calculated as of Thursday the 19^th from precisely 0900 hours. It was from then onwards, I started the Uberman cycle by taking my first ever 20 minute nap at Friday the 20^th of May at 0000 hours (Day 1). Now that’s out of the way, I can finally show you some numbers.

As of the current time of writing:

Total Hours Passed: 117

Total Hours Awake: 87

Total Hours Slept: 30

Hopefully this gives you a better grasp of my sleeping cycle. I should note that my “Total Hours Slept” also includes the hours when I blacked out.

Onwards. I have a heck of a lot to write about today, so I’ll continue from where I left off. After posting my last update, I had approximately 2 hours till my most dreaded of naps – the Morning Fiend. I set up extra precautions as described earlier; this included a third alarm and a glass of water. I was set to sleep at 0340 hours and wake at 0400. I entered my comfy position and put my head to rest.

The alarms screeched, and I awoke in an abrupt hurry to silence the brain-battering sirens. I looked at the clocks and each read a time of 0610 hours - I was confused. I was almost positive I set my alarms to ring at 0400, why is it they went off a full two hours after? Looking at the alarm, I realized they were not mistaken, all three were definitely set to go off at 0600. No one else was awake to have tampered with these alarms, and the fact that ALL three rang at 0600 leads me to believe that I must’ve been in such a state of inertia before my nap I had repeated the same mistake 3 times. None the less, it was a win situation; sleeping 2 hours instead of the past 5-7 gave me an immense sense of victory. I won the battle against the Morning Fiend. However, another issue arose - I could barely stand.

Each day I seem to set myself a new benchmark of sleepiness, and the 0610 awakening now holds the crown. I have never felt more drugged off sleep throughout the entire duration of Uberman. I held on however, and my next scheduled nap began at 1010 hours, and this where shit started to get real. The story of how I survived the periods between 0610 and 1010 is a long and fruitful one, but it can wait. I’d like to state however before I go any further that everything I’m about to say is NOT exaggerated, and is completely truthful. Now that's out of the way, lets continue.

At 0955 I was set to sleep, I scuffled into my couch and set all three alarms for 1020. To describe the state I was before I napped, I shall say this: I don’t remember. During that period I really couldn’t remember a lot of what I was doing, and my state of mind was in such a mess I was a body without a life. I was by and large a zombie. Upon resting my head, I remember taking a few minutes to settle in. Then it happened.

I vividly recall waking up almost immediately after putting my head down, and I promptly shuffled over to my PC. I opened up Skype and talked to a bunch of friends for a good hour or so. Wondering what the time was, I took a quick glimpse at the clock in the corner of my screen, and it was then I realized something truly amazing – the date read 56/00/3098 - I was dreaming. But more specifically, I was in a Lucid Dream - a dream where I was fully aware that I was dreaming, a common side effect among Uberman sleepers. This meant I had finally achieved REM sleep.

None the less, I took my time to explore this. I went back to my bed and awoke once more, still in my room, but with a slight difference. Every single object visible was floating; books, desks, speakers - everything. I stood and thought to myself what I could do while I’m here. I began to morph and create random objects with my very hands; I was also able to “spawn” any real-world object I could think of, I was given the ability to do whatever the fuck I wanted, and it was awesome. However, I was unable to create people, and I am still unsure as to why. It was a shame because I knew exactly which person I was going to bring to my bedroom door – and I’m sure many of the guys reading this do too. ;D

A visual representation of REM. Or as I like to call her, 'Rem'. 

I spent so much time in this dream of mine I could talk forever, but that would be boring. In all honesty I started to get worried. I wasted so much time in this world my digital countdown timer, sculpted from the planets of Venus and Jupiter said that 10 hours had passed. I decided to call it a day and cleaned up the mess I made before returning to bed.

I opened my eyes and all I could feel was utter confusion, I woke in my room unsure if I was in a dream. It felt so damn genuine I could remember every millisecond of it as vividly as typing these very words that you read. Because Uberman sleepers go itnto REM in such a short period of time, brain activity is still very high.. This means that Uberman sleepers are able to recall almost every second of their dream, they are also almost always Lucid dreaming because of this high brain functionality, that's why it feels so real after waking. I got up, approached my three alarms ready to calculate how much time I had overslept, although in all honesty I didn’t give a Baboons breast because I spent 10 hours having the greatest time of my life. The time read 1019 hours - A few seconds later all three alarms rang in unison – What - The - Fuck.

I woke up a full MINUTE before the alarms were supposed to ring. And better yet, I felt near-immortal. I awoke with a huge grin on my face. I felt so refreshed and revived it was incredible.  I was speaking fluently, writing brilliantly, heck, I even shadow boxed for a good 20 minutes and I still felt like my energy supply was endless. I finally did it – my brain had finally learned what I have been trying to teach it for the past 3 days, and after the destroyed state I was in yesterday – it’s about freakin' time too. Now it was just a matter of forcing my brain to do it every 4 hours.

After that nap, the feeling of youth lasted about an hour or so before exhaustion kicked back in. I returned to my zombified state. I went about the rest of my day tired beyond belief, returning back to the regular effects of sleep deprivation of Day 3 along with some new ones. I have not yet achieved REM sleep in any of my naps since. But after having that small taste of what Uberman could be like on a daily basis, I know I’m going to do this. And I predict that by Day 7-8, I should have this thing in the bag. Here’s to hope that everything goes as planned. 

SIDE EFFECTS/SUMMARY:

• REM sleep over a period of 20 minutes felt like 6 or so hours. 
• Per-second memory of dreams that occur while napping.
• Sleep deprived. Alot of starting at walls and anything else that doesn't move. Completely zombified.
• Warm fuzzy feeling still constantly present in my brain. I can control and move around where the point of the fuzziness comes from within my head. Wieid shit.
• Loss of balance. At times it is difficult to stay standing straight. I am forced to raise alertness somehow every time before I get up so I don't collapse while standing.
• Drowsiness. Vision often blurred, and hearing has become muffled.
•  I'm so unsure of what day it is I'm seriously considering making a new naming system for nights of the week to solve this problem.