Sub Vs. Dub - Episode 1: Dub Fanaticism

Don't judge, you know you'd hit that. I know I would -  in the face.

I hereby dub (ZING!) this post the most nerdiest collection of words I have ever written, ever. If there are any girls reading this, I know you all have highly sex-giving opinions of me, so for your own heart-breaking safety please stop reading now.

 Okay, so with the horde of extremely hot Jessica Alba resembling women who frequently visit this immensely popular blog no longer reading, I can continue.

A discussion common among many of my anime-watching friends is the classic subbed vs dubbed debate. What is the best way to watch anime? In English or Japanese? Well, here at Pound Cake Central, we (me) aim to solve (or at least fail at solving) this issue once and for all. Lets start off with the history behind this epic nerd-war.

How It All Began

It all started back when your mother was probably doing drugs and your father was spreading his sacred seed like bee's pollinating in summer. It was a dark and difficult time for nerds; they were a disliked and frowned upon minority, and it was also when the birth of the nerd stereotype came to be, like this guy:

DEAR GOD!!! Someone get it a girlfriend!
(And get me one too, brunette please.)

Anime back in the late 80's and early 90's was a rare/growing commodity, it was recognized by almost every nerd as the holy grail of masturbation material. And if there's one thing you should know about nerds: you do not fuck with their masturbation material. Take it from me, it's not a pretty site.

So with VHS being the dominant video format, this meant Western publishers were limited to only one editable track, they were able to create either a completely new dubbing for an anime, or to just subtitle it. In those days production costs for the two were roughly about the same, so it really was hit and miss. In some cases you'd get anime subbed, and others dubbed, it was always one or the other. So to sum up, VHS is the reason why this huge scale nerd-war exists.

Fuck you.

Imaginary Light Sabers swung and swooshed for many years throughout the bloody war, it seemed as though nothing could end the endless cries for nerd-justice. Then came DVD, which single-handedly ended the entire  nerd-war in one fell swoop. Peace was restored throughout the land as nerds around the world continued their sacred masturbation rituals in shameful yet harmonic privacy.

Fast forward to the beginning of the 21st century, with the debut of douchebaggery, trolling, and general internet ignorance, the sub vs dub facade quickly reignited - cue this utterly pointless blog.

So What's The Point?

Good question, self-asking question-sentence that I wrote moments before writing this. People eventually became unhappy that fat dudes on the other side of the world were enjoying the same thing in another language, and vice versa. Hence the debate has still been kept alive till this day. The fact is, this isn't limited to only anime (although the main victim), it applies to almost all other media produced originally in a foreign language. So I'll start by tackling the most frequently brought up arguments from both sides, starting with the pro-dub crap.

Pro-dubbing argument #1:

-          - "Dubbing translates jokes/puns/references better than subtitles."

This is very true. When an anime mentions a pun, cultural reference, joke, or even rhyme, translation through subtitling while keeping humour or desired emotion is very, very difficult. The dub producer will either modify the script slightly for easier comprehension or simply re-write that entire segment to something understandable by a foreign audience. This does depend more on the production studio and the genre of anime though (e.g comedy), but also, and more importantly, whether the producer does a good job.

Pro-dubbing argument #2:

-   -"How can you read subtitles while watching? Your eyes are never focused on the action."

Fuck you, that's how. Next point.

Pro-dubbing argument #3:
- "Not all dubbed anime is bad, most of them are good."

This is highly opinionated, and greatly depends on the anime and the production value placed on dubbing. For instance, take this hilarious piece of shit:

         


And compare it to this:

   

                       

Admittedly, they're both extremely dramatic considering its just a guy eating a fucking potato chip. It's been said that the English producers were hallucinating from potato-squeezed heroine when they allowed the blooper-worthy acting to leave the studio. But let's not leave the comparison there, try this, another Death Note scene:  


        


The dubbing  in that particular scene is extremely professional, never in the history of anime has anyone heard a more realistic dying horse. Kudos to you, potato-squeezed heroine producers.

All serious observations aside, Death Note is considered to be a 'good' example of dubbed anime (albeit with some awkward moments), so how about another example:


         
                                             *Ahem*.... NUUUHHHHNALLAYYY

The Japanese voicing here feels as though it has far greater emotion and depth with every word. And while the dubbing is still 'good', it does not compare to the original Japanese voiced production - there are many logical reasons for this, which I'll get into later.

Notice how I'm being fair here with these comparisons (lol), it's incredibly easy show shit like this, maybe this, heck, even this - but that would be an unfair generalization of the dubbing industry, because really, there are alot of good dubbings out there, no really, I mean lots, loads infact.

The truth to this is quite simple, the amount of investment in both time and money in the original production is vastly different compared to it's dubbed brother. This is the case with any kind of dubbed media, be it film, TV, music, games, whatever. Its the principal reason why the original Japanese production of an anime is more often of higher acting quality, especially since the orignal voice production is done before any kind of animation - meaning lip flaps and and timings are synced exactly with the actors from the get-go. I'll talk about that more in the second chapter to this post.

However, to every rule there belongs an exception - and plenty of excellent exceptions exist. Interestingly enough though, these shinning examples share something other dubs don't - cooperation from the original Japanese directors and production staff, case in point: Cowboy Bebop.


        
The series director Shinichiro Watanabe and many others from the original Japanese production team acted alongside the English dubbing director Melissa Williamson (rrrraaawwwr). This in part is probably why Cowboy Bebop is considered to be the best anime dub of all time, and in all honesty, I have to agree with this. In fact, it's one of the few anime where I grealty prefer the English voice acting over the Japanese - Believe it.

Are you finished?
Why yes, yes I am. Thank you self-asking question-sentence which I subconsciously use to add seemingly humours elements into an otherwise un-humours post. That ends the pro-dub section.

I should note that even though I'm (obviously) more of a sub person myself, I have alot more negative words to write in regards to the many arrogant pro-sub fans out there. Many pro-subbers wouldn't recognize a godamn good dub if one jumped up and bit them on the end of their fucking dicks. So stay sharp for the next chapter folks, otherwise I'll throw you and your horrendously bad dubs down to the ground and rape you.

And just in case you haven't seen "it" after all of that - here you go, one last time: