Blog Redesign and Oh My God I hate HTML

In every effort to push the most traumatizing blog post in history off the front page, I decided to write about the new site design and to see how many out of the 0 people that read this blog actually like it, along with cats pushing water melons out of lakes.

So, for better or for worse? Well, I've wrestled with HTML for long enough now to not change something about the design. Granted, I am a programmer, but web design is something I officially hate. Maybe it's because I'm not using a dedictaed program and simply hardcoding everything, still, I hate it.

Anyways, I know not many will respond to this because, well, there is nobody reading to respond to this, but I'd still like some feedback. Even if you're a internet wanderer who happened to stumble across this lonely blog looking for cake-baking tips (you'd be surprised how much traffic I get from search terms like "pound cake recipes"). Either way, I'm curious.

Chinese Pharmaceuticals Selling Energy Pills Made from Dead Babies

Look at the puppies, because you're about to get really depressed.

I simply cannot joke about this. It's wrong. It is the most disgusting and unethical news I've heard in a very long time, only worsened by the absence of pictures and actual stories. You are not going to like what you're about to read, you have been warned.

Sub Vs. Dub - Episode 1: Dub Fanaticism

Don't judge, you know you'd hit that. I know I would -  in the face.

I hereby dub (ZING!) this post the most nerdiest collection of words I have ever written, ever. If there are any girls reading this, I know you all have highly sex-giving opinions of me, so for your own heart-breaking safety please stop reading now.

 Okay, so with the horde of extremely hot Jessica Alba resembling women who frequently visit this immensely popular blog no longer reading, I can continue.

A discussion common among many of my anime-watching friends is the classic subbed vs dubbed debate. What is the best way to watch anime? In English or Japanese? Well, here at Pound Cake Central, we (me) aim to solve (or at least fail at solving) this issue once and for all. Lets start off with the history behind this epic nerd-war.

The Soon-To-Be Blank Bestsellers

During my non self-fornicating alone time, I stumbled across an interesting article about a guy named Sheridan Simove who, *ahem* “wrote” a book called “What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex”.  The best thing about this book though is - (SPOILER ALERT) - it’s blank.

HAHAHAHAHA! 

An Apology on Behalf of My Mixed-Gender Ass

So as it turns out, I suck at consistency. But you know what I don’t suck at? Being lazy. I’m (un)surprisingly well accomplished in that field. Point in case: writing.

Alot of shit has been on my mind as of recent, and alot of shit on my mind often means two things: 1) I’ll write about the shit on my mind and 2) my mind stinks of shit. I have so many ideas and stuff I want to write about, but what I’ve written just never gets finished. Point in case #2: Uberman. You probably didn’t know (unless you knew me, were one of my many 0 friends, or you’re my most recent imaginary girlfriend) that I’m actually in the process of ‘leaving’ Uberman. I’ve written lengthy logs, documented progress, the works, but I never seem to actually ‘finish’ any of them. The reason for this is quite simple, and no, before you think “oh he’s about to pull out an excuse to cover his ass like a disgruntled vagina”, I’m not. Truth is, the dog ate it. No word of a lie. Also, how can an ass have a vagina?

Putting all wishfully abundant vaginas aside, it’s rather sad that I’m too occupied being non-occupied to complete alot of the stuff I have in the draft bay. I’m glad I was at least able to finish off this post befo-

Fuck.

Youtube Comment of The Day

Ok, call me sad, but I often  find as much if not more entertainment in the comments section of Youtube videos than the video itself. So to honour those few genius who take their time to add to our amusement from afar, I've decided to dedicate this post, and possibly many others to come to the best most recently read  Youtube comments.

Quite Possibly The Greatest Moment In Fighting Game History

A fan of any fighting game (Street Fighter, Tekken, Marvel Vs. Capcom, ect.) has at least once in their gaming lifetime pulled off an unbelievable comeback. Whether it be against a human or AI, when the odds are so far up your ass that death itself is is standing beside your on-screen character - winning under such conditions deserves recognition. It gives us a sense of pride so strong in our abilites to precisely mash those buttons, that for a brief moment, we believe we are the greatest in the fighting universe. I'm sure fans of any fighting genre have experienced this. However, let me show you a video that will crush any future self confidence in any game you have played, ever.

The Narration of The End: Cowboy Bebop

One big happy pseudo-family

Taking every advantage of Uberman while I’m still within its napped-grasp, I decided to make Cowboy Bebop the most recent addition to my anime playlist. Before any anime veterans reading stops believing in the me that believes in the you, let me say that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing the Bebop crew before hand. I first watched the series in 2007 and again in 2008, once in English, and once in Japanese. After 2008 I decided to lock all recollection of the Bebop within the deepest bit-locked depths of my hard drive, never to be opened until I was certain it was wiped from natural memory.

Three years later, my brother nit-picking his boredom, Cowboy Bebop was the first chosen to kick-off the nostalgia-filled anime marathon. If you’ve never seen or heard of Cowboy Bebop then I cannot help but shed a tear for your incomplete existence as a human being. In layman’s terms: stop reading these unimportant words and watch Cowboy Bebop, spoilers lie ahead.

World Heavyweight Title Match - David "Cocky Loser" Haye Vs. Wladimir "Dr. Steel Hammer" Klitschko

If you're wondering what kind of ring name "Cocky Loser" is then you must've missed the memo regarding my intense hatred of David Haye. More on that later.

Immediately after one of Haye's fight, he spotted Wladimir in the crowd
and decided to start a little show.

The reason why I bothered to write a post dedicated to this fight is because it's quite possibly the biggest and most anticipated since 1999's Lennox Lewix vs. Evander Holyfield match-up, both boxers held a legendary status and were in their primes too - no fight has compared since. There were, arguably, other fights that could contend like 2002's Lennxs Lewis vs. Mike Tyson bout but both boxers were old and Tyson was a one-dimensional poor reflection of his prime - and Tyson's prime is one that I consider to be the greatest in all boxing history, but that's for another post.

Did I mention that this upcoming fight is a unification match? Haye and Klitschko are putting all their titles on the line, so they have a chance to gain the WBA, WBO, IBF, IBO and The Ring Heavyweight titles. With Klitschko contributing all four of his international titles, in comparison to Haye's single WBA belt. Anyone with half a brain and a teaspoon of honey should be able to predict the outcome of this match.

Now, in light of this Haye and Klitschko news many seems not to know the history between these two men. So In case you're not really much of a boxing fan, and because I feel like blabbering, here's a brief summary of the drama between these two boxers.

Becoming The Uberman - Week 6: "What it means to be Uberman"

witThis is an on-going quest for uberness (well, kinda). If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

---

Formalities of Progression

No, your eyes do not deceive you - gee-whiz-pop-golly this is indeed an Uberman update, let’s all rip open the condoms, bathe in oil and talk about how elephants mate (Have you seen them in action? DAI-YUM!) Moving on; I know I haven’t keept you guys in the loop recently, and I apologize for that, but this was for good reason as you shall soon see.

The truth is - I have a confession to make. Not only have I achieved an Uber-level over 9000 (And to all you noobz out there, that means that I’ve fully adapted. Here, save yourself further embarrassment and watch this, you’ll thank me later), but since roughly the 12th of June I had officially achieved complete Uberness. What’s surprising is I myself hadn’t noticed the change till recent, in fact, I found out rather spontaneously. Have you ever had a bad/annoying strain of hiccups that suddenly disappears without notice? Yeah, like that. One day as I was reading I thought; “Wait a second... I’m not sleepy!” That’s how I realized. I finally became an Uberman.

It was astonishing how smooth and unnoticeable the transition was, considering the state I was in just a couple of days before hand. An even more awesome discovery was that I no longer required alarms; I almost always awoke naturally after exactly 20 minutes. My body had finally understood: 20 minutes every 4 hours. No more, no less.

After realizing this, my first idea was to test my psychological and physical states while in Uber-mode, and so began a series of experiments where I assessed my boundaries and limits to observe (or suffer) the positive and negative effects that Uberman induces. I’ve been writing this post now for quite some time, and much of my results had to be omitted otherwise this post would be longer than the combined length of a Giraffe's tongue and an Elephants penis (...). So I apologize if I ever made you, my dear beloved reader, believe that I had died of sleep deprivation (I kid you not someone actually sent an email asking if I had died from sleep deprivation, oh how I feel the guiltiness right about now).

The Art Of Programming

Among all this Uberman-craze I thought it'd be wise to lighten the mood a little with another couldn't-be-more-true image. Not only does this image accurately describe my thinking process while programming, it also provides an excellent escape plan in case everything goes to shit.

Becoming The Uberman – Week 2: "Devolution of The Uberman"

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

---

I should note that I find no need to write a blog for each day, as (apart from my slow transformation into a brainless zombie), there really is not much to write about on a daily basis. Instead I will write summary posts covering a few days or perhaps a week at a time. Any objections? No? None?.. Good. Never knew asking questions about predetermined decisions made life so easy. I should do this more often. Right guys? Yeah, I think so too.

Becoming The Uberman - Day 6: "A Hint of Fail, A Dose of Win"

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

---

So far, there has been progression on both sides of the spectrum. On one side, blackouts have not only been cropping up in the morning but also during midday naps too. I also recall over-sleeping in the afternoon for a good 2 hours or so. This is bad. Very bad.

Becoming The Uberman - Day 5: “The Curse of The Uberman”

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

---

Firstly - no I am not stuck in the dream world, and two – I am not dead. I know I haven’t updated my blog in quite a while but theres no need to send me emails asking if I'm ok (I like it really), its completely uneccessary from a professional standpoint (it makes me feel cool too). Moving on. Days 5, 6 and 7 have been left unfinished in the draft bay for a while now, but I managed to pluck up the energy to finish all three in one night - LIKE A BOSS.

I thought I’d talk about what I actually do to fill my time, rather than blabber about my daily happenings. So I’ve calculated and complied all the stuff I’ve done so far over the past 5 days.  Take a deep breath cause’ its kinda… well, you’ll see:

Becoming The Uberman – FAQ's: "Do Not Question the Uberman"

I've been receiving a lot of emails recently in regards to my adaptation of Uberman, several of them being words of support from people all around the world, and I sincerely thank those who took their time to ask about lil’ old me. Your emails are what kill the zombified stare off my face every night, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful. How about some internet bro-fist?

Amongst the emails I receive, many are questions curious about Uberman and polyphasic sleep. I figured I’d compile these questions and share the things I’ve learned since starting the Uberman system.

Becoming The Uberman - Table of Days

I made this mainly as a way for people to navigate around my previous and coming days. Its becoming a pain for me to update each individual day with hyperlinks and such. So, I'll be updating all my Uberman logs here in a nice clean post. If you're ever confused, you're more than welcome to use this to navigate your way around my sleep-deprived quest for uberness.

Day 1: "Origins" - 21.05.11 @ 0758

Day 2: "Mishaps and Madness" -22.05.11 May @ 0536

Day 3: "A New Nemesis, a Glimmer of Hope" - 23.05.11 @ 0333

Day 4: "Hi there, my name's REM. Nice to finally meet you." - 24.05.11 @ 0816

Day 5: "The Curse of The Uberman" - 25.05.11 @ 0458

Day 6: "A Hint of Fail, A Dose of Win" - 26.05.11 @ 0503

Week 2: "Devolution of The Uberman" - 02.06.2011 @ 0354

---

FAQ's: "Do Not Question the Uberman" - 26.05.11 @0243

Becoming The Uberman - Day 4: "Hi there, my name's REM. Nice to finally meet you."

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see all the days gone by so far.

--

Before I start I’d like to clarify a few things that I believe I have not made clear in previous posts, one of them being the total amount of hours I have slept throughout the past couple of days. This has been calculated as of Thursday the 19^th from precisely 0900 hours. It was from then onwards, I started the Uberman cycle by taking my first ever 20 minute nap at Friday the 20^th of May at 0000 hours (Day 1). Now that’s out of the way, I can finally show you some numbers.

Becoming The Uberman – Day 3: “A New Nemesis, a Glimmer of Hope”

This is an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven't read any of my previous posts, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Go here to see the days passed so far.

--

It has now become a physical struggle to type. As I write this, I find it hard to determine which letter belongs to which key. I can no longer write coherently for more than a few minutes, or my writing deteriorates to the level of a child. I am now forced to keep writing to a minimum, ignoring the usual humorous aspects of my posts and focus what energy I have left on reporting my status. So to all those reading, I would like to apologize in advance if it is difficult to read my entries from here on. After quickly glancing through my previous posts, I found myself disappointed at the sloppiness of my writing. So again, to all those who have been following me from Day 1, I offer my sincerest apologies.

Becoming The Uberman - Day 2: "Mishaps and Madness"

This is Day 2 of an on-going quest for uberness. If you haven’t read any of my previous Uberman posts, you will have no clue what I’m talking about. Go here for my report of Day 1.

---

Things are starting to get increasingly dangerous, and precautions had to be made. I have entered a new stage within this adaptation phase that endangers my chances of achieving epic uberness. The story that led to this is as follows.

The Ways Of The Student

I don't usually find anything that has compelled me enough to write a short post. I'm the kind of guy that likes to pour incoherent thoughts into a single, long-ass frickin' novel. However, I found an image that accurately sums the entirety of my academic education at university. In fact, it was so accurate and contained that much truth; I felt a sudden rush of obligation to spread this insight of wisdom to the farthest corners of my flat the internet.

Ready? You sure? Ok. Prepare yourself. You're about to be enlightened.

Yep. Those two lines and the epicness of Foul Bachelour Frog has made this image one of the highlights of my week and definitely desevered a honourable mentioning. All thanks for this great discovery in educational philosophy goes to my good friend Louis. :D

Becoming The Uberman - Day 1: "Origins"

For those of you who do not know: I am embarking on a quest. A quest so sacred and so desired, little have returned sane. What is this quest I speak of?  What is this pilgrimage of enlightenment?  This journey of power?  This mission of impossibility? The answer is infact, quite simple - I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Next Level Dundee - Sequences - Part 2

WAIT!

This is a continuation from a previous post; "Sequences - Part 1". Make sure you've read this first before continuing. Or I kill you.

MOVING ON!

Subsequent to another one of my awesome-fail ideas, it struck me that making a film isn't as easy as popping out a baby and tweeting about it. So, after convincing the F-Team that our best shot at winning this is making a film, we got straight to work. 

WBO Welterweight Title Match - Manny Pacquiao Vs Sugar Shane Mosely

If you haven't heard about this match, HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A FUCKING MOON?.. Ahem... The boxing match between Manny 'Pacman' Pacquiao, rated pound-for-pound best boxer in the world, against the challenger, 'Sugar' Shane Mosely, is upon us. Being the most anticipated fight of the year - I could not help but piss on my keyboard in pig-squealing, fangirl screaming excitement. And yes, I piss on my keyboard when I'm excited. Deal with it.

The Benefits of Cause

The first bit of good news for while! So I thought I'd share it with the huge population of people that take their precious time to read this immensely popular blog! :D

Myself and a friend of mine, Zizo, decided to create a Youtube Channel a while back in regards to the relief of the Libyan people. We decided to create this channel in order to raise awareness for the Libyan crisis by collecting and uploading videos taken by our Libyan contacts on the ground at such a time where there was no form of international media in the country. Our channel quickly boomed and we became the main source for news agencies such as CNN, BBC, ITN, Reuters, Sky News, The Guardian and many more. With 5-6 videos being uploaded almost every hour.

Next Level Dundee - Sequences - Part 1

During the summer of 2010, I was, as usual, bored. With the majority of my games completed and 100%'ed (I have no life, I know), I looked for another task to keep myself busy. And boy did I find one hell of a task.

WBA Light Welterweight Title Match - Amir Khan Vs Paul McCloskey

For those of you who don't know - I am a huge boxing fan. And when a world title match turns the corner I get freakishly giggedy like a 12 year old girl staring at Justin Bieber images.

Wanna' Hear A Good One?

Courtesy of my good Arab friend, Zizo.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms...

The Definition of "Friend"

ORIGINS

A while back I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine, Callum (Yes, you have his name now, if you ever get a hold of his bank details let me know because he owes me £10.... well, not really but I'd like £10 anyway) when this subject popped up, and he was one of the first to insinuate the fact that I should empty my thoughts out onto a blog, so he's partly the reason why I'm here writing this. I should also give credit to my PC because without it I would not be here typing the very thoughts that me and Callum ignited that day. And while we're at it, I should award kudos to my mother and father, because without them and the process of "love" I would not be sitting frobnicating (It is an actual word for those of you who have dirty minds). I would also like to thank some buddies of mine from the stone age that I've known for quite a while now and without their invention of fire...

Pound Cake: Origins

Ah, pound cake. For all those who have yet to discover its epicness, enjoy:

I Would Like Some Pound Cake

FIRSTLY!


I see, a screen... I see, a mouse... I see, many keys... Where am I?... What am I?... What am I typing?... Can you see me?... JESUS CHRIST AM I DEAD!!?


OMFG JGH3AO6LOLEUID56IGROFLEOMGWTF MIND = BLOWN!!!!!!!!!!


The above few lines roughly sum up my average day. Exciting right? No. As much as I would like to have my mind blown (no pun intend-...  hehehe, actually nvm leave it there) each and every single day, it would eventually become... not blown?!...