This is a continuation from a previous post; "Sequences - Part 1". Make sure you've read this first before continuing. Or I kill you.
MOVING ON!
Subsequent to another one of my awesome-fail ideas, it struck me that making a film isn't as easy as popping out a baby and tweeting about it. So, after convincing the F-Team that our best shot at winning this is making a film, we got straight to work.
The first thing we had to do was think of an idea and plan this bitch out. And being the retarded genius that I am I thought of an idea so retardededly weird - it was retarded. I'm sure many of you have seen the film Memento. If not, watch it before I summon the pigeons of the universe via my god-given power of pigeon-summoning to swoop along and shit on your head. There is no escape. Infact, because there really is no escape I'm going to wait here until you go watch it, bro.
30 MINS LATER...
I am now going to assume that you are reading this because you've watched Memento. Correct? Good. But you know what? Its too late. I've already summoned the demon pigeons. And they're aiming their pinky-finger sized pigeon cracks at your face ready to excrete their soup-like death beams at this very moment. You and Buddha both know deep down you deserve it, somehow.
Ok, moving on. Where were we? Ah yes! That's right. Pigeons. They're shitting on your window because they can't get to your face indoors. Just thought I'd give you the heads up (so when my pigeons come they shall shit squarely on your face). But yes, in Memento (SPOILER ALERT - Just in case you haven't seen it because your too big of a dog-humping douche to watch it despite my continuous warnings) the chronological structure of the film is what inspired this idea of mine. I wanted to achieve this sort of time-lapse effect with our film The viewer would be watching the film as its being made through its various stages, with each stage showcasing our skill sets, creating a infinite loop of sort. That might be hard to grasp because I'm frankly shit at expressing my ideas on paper, but hopefully after watching the final cut you'll understand.
OK!
After selling the idea to the team, it was time to plan. We drew up a story board and had our own white board stuck full of stuff that had some form of relevance to our project. We then had to conquer our next barrier, a camera. You'd be surprised to know the hassle it took us to get a decent camera. I'm sure you're thinking; "But Ahmed, why didn't you just borrow a camera from your uni? I'm sure they would have some." And in fact, you're right. Abertay does have cameras. But they're shit. And we couldn't take them off campus for shooting. So, when your shit university is useless in helping you, where do you go? That's right. A better university.
Ditching Abertay, we drove over to the University of Dundee across town where somehow upon stepping onto the campus the hot babe count increases tenfold. Me and one of our artists, Craig, sat and observed the beauties for along short time while our jewelry artist, Maria, was elsewhere. I'm assuming she was doing the laundry while we were sat oggling hot chicks. That would explain her sudden teleportation behind us after we finished the oggling process. Yeah. Makes perfect sense.
SPOILER: I'M GOING TO DIE. LOL.
We entered the maze that was Dundee Uni and after much exploration met a large, smelly, bearded man - we shall hence forth name him "Dwarf." Dwarf was large, smelly and heavily bearded (just in case you missed the first time), sitting in a room filled with equipment easily valued at around £60,000 - £100,000 in shiny things. Among those shiny things were cameras. And after a rather unconvincing explanation of why we needed to take this big-ass Hollywood style £5,000 epic camera; we skipped away with our faces filled with happiness and joy knowing that if we scratched any part of this camera we would be banished to a slow and gruesome 10000mm-lens-ass-raping death in 10000mm-lens-ass-raping-dwarf-camera hell. And so, after some advice, the filming began.
The first thing we had to do was think of an idea and plan this bitch out. And being the retarded genius that I am I thought of an idea so retardededly weird - it was retarded. I'm sure many of you have seen the film Memento. If not, watch it before I summon the pigeons of the universe via my god-given power of pigeon-summoning to swoop along and shit on your head. There is no escape. Infact, because there really is no escape I'm going to wait here until you go watch it, bro.
30 MINS LATER...
I am now going to assume that you are reading this because you've watched Memento. Correct? Good. But you know what? Its too late. I've already summoned the demon pigeons. And they're aiming their pinky-finger sized pigeon cracks at your face ready to excrete their soup-like death beams at this very moment. You and Buddha both know deep down you deserve it, somehow.
Ok, moving on. Where were we? Ah yes! That's right. Pigeons. They're shitting on your window because they can't get to your face indoors. Just thought I'd give you the heads up (so when my pigeons come they shall shit squarely on your face). But yes, in Memento (SPOILER ALERT - Just in case you haven't seen it because your too big of a dog-humping douche to watch it despite my continuous warnings) the chronological structure of the film is what inspired this idea of mine. I wanted to achieve this sort of time-lapse effect with our film The viewer would be watching the film as its being made through its various stages, with each stage showcasing our skill sets, creating a infinite loop of sort. That might be hard to grasp because I'm frankly shit at expressing my ideas on paper, but hopefully after watching the final cut you'll understand.
OK!
After selling the idea to the team, it was time to plan. We drew up a story board and had our own white board stuck full of stuff that had some form of relevance to our project. We then had to conquer our next barrier, a camera. You'd be surprised to know the hassle it took us to get a decent camera. I'm sure you're thinking; "But Ahmed, why didn't you just borrow a camera from your uni? I'm sure they would have some." And in fact, you're right. Abertay does have cameras. But they're shit. And we couldn't take them off campus for shooting. So, when your shit university is useless in helping you, where do you go? That's right. A better university.
 |
| Yep, our board of stuff. It haz teh paperz. |
Ditching Abertay, we drove over to the University of Dundee across town where somehow upon stepping onto the campus the hot babe count increases tenfold. Me and one of our artists, Craig, sat and observed the beauties for a
SPOILER: I'M GOING TO DIE. LOL.
We entered the maze that was Dundee Uni and after much exploration met a large, smelly, bearded man - we shall hence forth name him "Dwarf." Dwarf was large, smelly and heavily bearded (just in case you missed the first time), sitting in a room filled with equipment easily valued at around £60,000 - £100,000 in shiny things. Among those shiny things were cameras. And after a rather unconvincing explanation of why we needed to take this big-ass Hollywood style £5,000 epic camera; we skipped away with our faces filled with happiness and joy knowing that if we scratched any part of this camera we would be banished to a slow and gruesome 10000mm-lens-ass-raping death in 10000mm-lens-ass-raping-dwarf-camera hell. And so, after some advice, the filming began.
[End of Part 2]
No comments:
Post a Comment
Wow, the fact that you're even reading this pre-comment message makes me so happy inside.